Monday, August 3, 2009

Recap! Kitchen Renovation & Camp Out

Kitchen Renovation
First thing noticeable is that they didn’t talk about being together on the intro--- it just said “It may b ea crazy life, but it’s our life”. Whoopdeedo.

They are divorcing. Kate is at peace. In Jan 2009 Kate’s “best friend” just happened to have a husband that said they would do a new kitchen for me. Paul and Nellie (if he wasn’t robbing the cradle!) were the best buds.

Kate thinks the kitchen is disorganized- no storage—she wants pull out drawers, although she said she really hadn’t thought about what she wanted. This story is SO believable—not.
Supposedly Jon worked for a cabinet company. Right.

Kate swears she didn’t know how custom a kitchen could be. Liar.

Cut to the kids playing with some retarded toy, but not for long because it is all about Kate.
So she talks more about her kitchen and tells Jon to get rid of a bunch of flowers because they are distracting. Kate is excited when she hears that she will be without cabinets for 2 weeks. Nellie talks about doing dishes in the bathtub. Kate said “Haven’t you ever heard of paper.” Oh, how brilliant and green. She also made up a new word “horrification”. Oh my.

Kate was upset that she was “locked” into a day and she said she had only 1 day to empty the kitchen. She called Carla and a friend. (Amazing how the friend has no name…) The nanny probably helped. She has 8 kids that could have, would have and would have LOVED to help.
Kate served her leftovers to kids on paper plates….. Late July organic something…. Fruit and chips. What? No protein? Only carbs?

Jon said that the design was figured out long before the separation. And they did it because the kids loved it.

I just want everyone to know when I was a kid, I begged my parents to take out the metal 1950s cabinets in their kitchen and install new ones. It was what I wanted for every birthday and every Christmas. I lived for the day we’d get new cabinets.

(Translate: Right. Some sophisticated kids you got there.)

Jon was concerned that the kids being around would be an issue with nail guns and other tools…… but they stayed on. Kate used her LARGE dining room for food. And she is doing a LOT of takeout. ORGANIC, I am sure. So she decided to take the kids to the beach.

Jon said they needed a break from each other- I say it was a ploy and excuse for another vacation. And supposedly the kids had to sneak out at 4am to avoid the p-people. But the paps were on the job and found them anyway.

In Hilton Head, they rented the expensive house (Like $20K a week). The kids had yet another fruit filled snack. One kid got an apple. Another got about 8 raspberries. WTF?

The kids and mom and the nanny went to the beach. The kids had fun, which was nice to see. Kate on the beach, not so much. The nanny should have NEVER been in the bikini she wore. Kate was bad enough with her misplaced belly button and thick middle, but that nanny was just FAT. Cover it up, girl while you go exercise. Lay off the beer and cum guzzling and put in some real work.

Jon lets us know the renovation is going well. Then back to Kate. The kids were just having fun while she and the fat nanny sat on the beach in chairs. Kate got in the sand and she showed us her ass muffin.

Kate isn’t going to stifle the kids’ existence because of the paps. It took 2 days for them to get there. I think Kate isn’t going to destroy her “career” is more like it.

Jon tells us everything is great except that it is dangerous. Then back to Kate. She said she wanted to get away from the kitchen mess and invest 2 weeks into a stress free time with the kids. We got another view of Kate in her bikini- her plastic surgeon fucked up her tummy tuck or she was getting fat- another belly muffin.

Next week we get to see the kitchen people fuck up the measurements. Will Kate get her kitchen? Whatever.

Next episode…. Kate goes camping.
Kate shows off her tits in a Nike sports tank. They look old and saggy. Kate’s new attitude is that she’s going to do things she’s never done before…. Like putting a screen in a window. What about compassion, helping others, owning up to your issues….

I digress. She decided to put up tents a 6 year old can put up. We had a blow by blow of where they were going to sleep, what Kate was going to do (put up tent, etc.) The kids talked to Kate about how “daddy knows everything about a tent”. Kate said “wow, and he’s not here” O.M.G. Mady was afraid it would collapse in the middle of the night. The ‘tup girls said that only boys know how to do tents and DAMN if that bitch Kate didn’t reinforce the stereotype. Dumb bitch.
“In the end it looked like a tent and it was a tent. Tee hee!”

The P.A.s (production assistants) sent up the other tent. Imagine that. Noooo this isn’t scripted at ALL.

Now she talks about her pool and how they are always in it. So they went on vacation to a pool and now home to a pool. Nice. And damn if Coleman didn’t have a commercial during the show. You know Kate got it for free now.

Ah, and the truth comes out. Ashley helps out quite a bit. The kids say some retarded thing “look at me, I’m shakin’”. Enough, really.

They made smores--- and those grams and Hershey bars were NOT organic.

Kate has an issue getting a fire started. She’s an idiot. Mady got on my last nerve with her show off attitude. She and Cara are getting to be really ugly. All the kids were not really being encouraging except for the suck up Hannie. “You can do it Mommy” (Translate: I’ll stay on your good side, because I don’t want to be beat during an alcoholic incident!)

Kate said Ashley’s only reason for being there was because she had 8 kids with “pointy sticks”. Scapegoat anyone?

Mady had to go on with a fascinating fact about oxygen helping a fire. STFU and STFD.
And the ‘tup girls talked about the smores. One of them had her legs all spraddled out. Way to film guys. Get the pedophiles off why don’t you.

Notice we’re not really seeing Kate camping out. Nor did we see the “bugs” from the preview. Hmmmmm, hype anyone?

If Cara and Mady had their own tent, did Ashley, Kate and the 6 kids sleep in the other? Methinks the Prod assistance put more than one tent together. Then they had to have showers…. Then we saw the BIG tent—OIC……

Apparently Ashley got to sleep indoors. Cara and Mady were annoying with their goodnights. The kids didn’t rough it though. They had air mattresses. LMAO The kids were even more annoying hamming for the cameras.

If this is what the new show is going to be, I see a lot of snarking coming up.

BTW Supposedly is taking Kate the girls on a camping trip (and maybe wasn’t returning the merchandise—just shipping it to some wonderful locale….)

Kate getting sympathy? Hell no!

Not on this blog!

CNN is reporting that more people will sympathize with Kate. I call bullshit.

That cheap bitch used the Coleman equipment for the show and was caught sending it back. Tell me this isn't for show. What if the kids want to camp again? Didn't anyone want to give you an endorsement Kate? Didn't you have a coup?