The episode starts with “Go Green” chanted several times. Enter Steve Thomas. As some of you may remember, he was Bob Vila’s replacement on This Old House and came from a sailing background. Now he hosts some other show and is supposedly very green.
Kate exclaims that she is happy to let the “sun and the natural elements” do the work for her but it really comes down to cutting costs for her. Way to support the green movement, Kate!
We cut to a shot of Jon-Boy outside talking about Steve and his crew at Jon’s “crib”. Tsk, tsk, Jon. You’re letting your 20 somethings vocabulary taint your good name.
Steve Thomas prepares to educate us on solar panel installation and it quickly turns into a renovation “how to” show. Kate whines that she is still having issues with people in the house. She doesn’t like not knowing where everyone is and where they would be. She was given a plan of the comings and goings to help her poor stupid soul out.
As they prepare to begin installation, Steve asks, “Is everyone ready” and Jon answers, “What choice do I have”. One of the kids yells, “Daddy where are you” and I am sure Jon was wishing he was playing beer pong with his sorority sisters.
Imagine that! The panels are late and Steve runs the renovation show’s playbook play by play. Jon was upset that their schedule would be upset and Steve asked if Kate would beat him up. Jon elected not to tell Kate. Or at least suggested it. To actually do it would be too ballsy for Jon.
Kate tells one of her infamous lies as she said she spent the afternoon baking for the crew. We know from past episodes that she doesn’t bake- she isn’t good at it- so I assume nanny-no-show is the one who did the baking- or the local Meijer.
The children are in fine form—telling each other that they will tell on the other if they rat them out about going past the cones they weren’t supposed to pass.
Steve kills time by quizzing the kids and invading Kate’s space. Good for him. Jon thought the “proton neutron thing” was funny. Probably he did. Poor dumb animal.
Awwww and we see Kate bring out “home made” goodies for the crew. She was grateful for their work (because it was free). Kate thinks all cold men should be fed. LMAO
We start to see the kids in the back 40 in this episode. You see just how.much.land. the ‘tups and twins earned on the show. More installation….. Jon stands around gratuitously. Steve and Kate compare how they grew up together. Apparently “dishevelment” isn’t a word, according to Kate and we get some insight into her father—he doesn’t finish projects. Kate reinforces stereotypes by saying the four-wheeler and other assorted machines are “boy toys” all the while wearing a sour expression on her face that screamed “hurry up and get the fuck off MY land!”
Notice in this episode that they don’t show as many full shots of the two of them on the couch. As Jon points out that they are saving their kids future, Kate grinches her face and says “the Earth is only going to last so long anyway, but, well”. Wow, again with the rich reinforcement of the Earth and how important it is…… and then she has the nerve to make fun of Steve and how excited he is about his projects. What an ungrateful cunt.
Again with the Valentine’s Day celebration- grilled cheese made it soooo special. So special the day was that Kate couldn’t remember half the memories she made for them. My question--- was it all organic?
Then we’re off with Steve and Kate. He ties her up and throws her in the basement--- no. Wait. He just takes her up in a cherry picker. Don’t let Kate’s surly attitude fool you. She loved the “900 guys” hanging around “laughing at” her. She loved it. But what she loved more was the whore, er, whole savings bit. Not a word about Mother Earth from Queen Bee.
Back to a renovation show atmosphere. Then on to the ‘tups nosing around where they shouldn’t be. When asked by a crew member if Kate should have the final say so on the placement of some of the panels, Jon snidely remarks “No.” but then calls Kate. Like we didn’t know he was going to do that. Kate comes home and we hear her doing some shopping on the phone. Or else she’s finding out how much she’ll get paid to shill her crappy book. (Not books. She didn’t write the first one.) And after more wasted air time, Jon gets into a harness and informs us he shouldn’t have worn boxers. Uh… yuck!
The second day oatmeal raisin cookies were on the menu- ‘cause as Kate says, she wants to do “healthy things” for her kids. (Kate, have you really baked oatmeal raisin cookies before?) Jon talks about the reclaimed wood and let us all know that most of the barns in PA are made of wood. Wow. Who would have thought? Kate interrupted Jon and said she wishes they would have made two picnic tables. Katie, your greed is showing.
Finally they put in LED lights and when Jon talked about the kids enjoying putting the landscape lights out, Kate had to be the center of attention and ask “Was I baking during that time?”. Yeah, Kate, you were “baking” (i.e. driving to Meijer to get more snacks with your body guard). Then she bitches because the kids put the lights together and they seem to be falling apart. Get off your lazy ass, Kate and fix them. Talk about a lazy cow. “So glad it’s done.” And her fake thank you to Steve. As soon as the show was over, Kate disappeared back inside the house.
So glad you’re done, Kate. You suck.