3/16 Slopes, Sleds, and Sesame

The Gosselins had more tears than smiles to share the first time the Gosselin family went skiing together. Jon and Cara head out to Utah to experience some more winter fun on the slopes, while Kate wisely hangs back with the rest of the clan.

Source: TLC

Recap:

When I was growing up, I went to a high school that had a Roses and Thorns section in the newspaper. People could for a small fee (or sometimes the newspaper staff got their digs in) give roses (kudos) to people who deserved it or thorns (bitch out) people who deserved it. I am dedicating this episode to that fine tradition.

Roses: Cara and the father daughter trip (said it twice just in case we missed it). Big commercial for the ski resort.

Thorns: Mady got braces and despite Kate saying they weren’t going to film it, they did.

Roses: Cooper Hoffmeister, the pro at the resort gave Jon and Cara the VIP treatment- more freebies! And as Kate was talking about going to Sesame Street Live (like Mady wants to see that!), Jon looked smug, like he had something in his pants to give away to the snow bunnies—maybe Bonnie the instructor?

Thorns: Meanwhile, back at the McMansion….again, it is all about Kate. She has to do everything to take the kids to Sesame Street Live. (Mental note to boycotters- Crayola, Empire Carpet, Ford, Disney all had ads during the commercial breaks.) Kate’s annoying voice to the dogs—calling herself their mommy. (Snort, that’s about right!). They can afford a “doggie sitter”. And Mady doesn’t want to brush her teeth (whine) WHY?!?!!?

Roses: Cara got homesick and missing the “dogs, Mommy and all the other peoples”. Notice the dogs rank first. Kate said she was worried about missing her. Ha. Nice way to be subversive Cara! I am so proud of you! Cara was SO into that trip- she didn’t miss anyone.

Thorns: Kate finally got everyone in the van. Psst! Tip for you Kate: get the kids a step stool and stop posturing for the camera! The kids were sleeping when she got there and Kate couldn’t figure out what to do. Hannie had a meltdown. Poor Kate and Hannie…. LMAO. And did Kate tell her to get a grip like she would have with any of them….? NO, Kate carried the Precious One all the way in and left the other kids in her wake. What happened to the holding rings Kate? What happened to the buddy system? Of course “it ended up working out” because “that’s real life”. Great wisdom, babe. (Yes, she was in heels dragging six kids around in the dark. Which I don’t understand.) (Ads in second break- Volvo, Mars (3 Musketeers), State Farm, Apple)

Roses: Pat Brown was the bobsled coach for the Jamaican Olympic team….. more VIP treatment! I am not sure where Cara disappeared to. Sorry I blacked out from boredom. Later they said she wasn’t tall enough to bobsled. She’s just like Sporty Spice. Jon said he forgot to breathe during bobsledding. If only…

Thorns: They had a box seat. The kids didn’t appreciate it….. they ran around. Kate had a huge bunch of popcorn that she doled out to Mady in her hand. As if Mady couldn’t hold it herself. Kate even had her own private kitchenette!

Roses: In the teaser for the season finale, they tried to make it seem dramatic that there was a hint of marital strife…..

Thorns: ….but we already know they’ve signed on for another season. We just couldn’t be that lucky. Kids have to pay the mortgage and for spa days you know. (Ads- lost track for a while- real life intervened…). Cara and Jon-boy went to a tube park and went tubing….. woo hoo. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. As Jon talked about the day, Kate wore a blank expression or maybe it was more like “is it my turn to be the center of attention?” They did conveniently forget to mention that Jon bought a house in Utah.

Roses: We were back to the kids meeting the cast members. Mady stayed noticeably back for the most part. Way to really be subversive- or bitchy. Either way, congratulations.

Thorns: Kate was desperate to get her “flock back”. Jon and Kate couldn’t be less into each other on the couch. If Cara was so into getting out of the van and hugging everyone- why didn’t they show that touching moment? I call bullshit. An article was out a while back that said Jon bought a home in Utah. I am sure that this is going to be his divorce home. Rumor has it that they sent Cara back with the television crew and that is when Jon went clubbing in Utah.

I am sure that next week will be a rehash of the article that ways they are together and Jon is just at a loss because Kate’s career is taking off. I just threw up in my mouth a little.