Monday, August 17, 2009

Recap: Battleships and Barbers

I am so glad we are back to half hour shows. This is just boring. B.O.R.I.N.G.

They spent a couple of weeks on the beach. The twins spent a week and then went back for 3 more days at school. Kate said they are at the top of their class so they don't suffer academically. Massage that guilt, Kate.

Jon said he missed the kids and when the girls came home they said hello and that was it.

For Kate, it was all about 'field trips'. She took the boys to see a battleship. No word on where the girls were. Too bad Kate had to reinforce gender stereotypes.

Kate was wearing shorts and hooker heels. As she boarded the ferry, she gushed over the woman's baby (that we saw in pictures a few weeks ago). While Kate ferried, Jon took the twins to a Chuckie Cheese type place. True to TLC's word, Jon's torso was completely blurred, giving him a bigger douchebag look than ever. No advertising for him! Mady and Cara were in semi rare form. At least they weren't making for the camera and Mady wasn't shitty. (Amazing how ok she is when Kate is gone.....)

Meanwhile, the boys raked in the freebies with sailor caps. And Kate was making memories with her pink cell phone.

As Kate and the boys when through the battleship, I was seriously hoping that Kate tripped on her $300 wedge heels. But sadly, it was not to be. Kate got a dig in on Jon in that she said that there are plenty of places to make "mindless memories but I DO like them to learn something." Whatever Kate. It was free and you got to fuck your bodyguard. What more did you want? Oh yea, if you could have dumped the boys on someone you would have been happier.

Kate said she was interested in what the boys wanted to see. She was really interested in showing off her new titties. Unfortunately, Kate made it down the stairs and after fake loving on her kids, she jacked her jaw some more about the experience.

The boys did couch confessionals about what they saw on the ship. Sounded mindless to me. Kate said they had problems walking on the grates, too bad Kate didn't.

Jon, on the other hand took Cara climbing through a rope gauntlt. Mady has a fear of heights. Jon said it was ok if Cara fell because the people would catch her. We got to see Jon's ever growing bald spot. Guess the plugs didn't work very well.

As the day wore on, Kate bitched about the p-people. Although she had the same issue before they got on the ship, she chose to bitch about it after she prostituted the boy 'tups on her terms. If the p-people aren't giving her the green, she wants no part of it. If they contribute to her green, she'll play with them a little.

Anyway, the boys did another couch confessional and it was like watching three brain dead zombies talk with mush in their mouths. How precious. *gag*

Kate said they caused "quite a frenzy" by just being there. Kate also taught her kids that the p-people were bad and told them to shoot the gun turrets at them. I trulybelieve Kate would kill (insert anyone who pisses her off) if she thought she could get away with it.

Jon wanted to go kart so they had to use a PA to drive with one of the twins. Neither twin looked happy, because they didn't get to drive. Spoiled babies.

After the ship it was off to get their hair cut. Jon Roberts Hair Design. LMAO. So we got to watch paint dry.... Kate picked up some hair products for her mulletish hair and they went for ice cream. Kate bitched about the kids maybe getting ice cream on them. What a bitch. Let the kids have a life.

Mady played games all day and Cara did the rope course and Jon got to drive a car. What a fun afternoon. *gag*

The boys ate their ice cream, got it on the floor, shared with Kate and she declared it all "fun". Kate says they are at the age where they are "taking care of mommy" WTF? What 5 year old takes care of their mother?! What normal 5 year old?

On a very happy note, a woman is pregnant with 12 babies. A duodecaplet. That's twice the pimpin' folks!

Happy Monday!

I believe they won't have a new episode on now until 8.31

8/17 Battleships and Barbers

While away, Kate's planned a special day with the boys and takes them to explore the USS North Carolina battleship. After the battleship adventure, Kate sets out to find a barber shop as the boys are in desperate need of a haircut.

Should be a yawn!

In other news:

CNN wonders if we're going overboard on Jon and Kate.

Jon is hanging with the p-people.