Tea Parties and Snakes

So very painful!

They are at the beach yet again. Still. Recap of the battleship. Now on to the girls.....

A tea party was just the ticket. Kate with her everloving cuppa coffee and the kids chewing ORGANIC gum. Kate points out the p-people. Conveniently.

Mads and Cara went back to school. Jon feels guilty and gets the girls earrings. I am sure they are really expensive. Both the girls are really odd looking--- horse mouths.

Kate takes the kids on a carriage ride. Cause she can't walk in her hooker shoes. Her tits make her look like she's a humpback. They went to The Whilmington tea house and drank tea. Kate freaked over the glass..... "It was not a luncheon, it was more like a tea party." Really, Kate? this was their first tea party. How sad for them. I am sure it was all organic.

Cara and Mads planted seeds. Whoo.....

Then the girls went to make jewelry. Whoopie.

And the twins played with fire.....and the tups got ice cream. Kate whined. Leah chose an "obnoxiously loud" ice cream. So the fuck what Kate?

The twins did arts and crafts for Jon. He said he didn't want gifts-- cause he already took their cash! What more could they possibly give him?!?

And they think this show is going to be better as Kate Plus 8?

So much news.....

So much news today!

For anyone who hasn't seen Whoopi take Kate down, here's the vid.

It is no longer Jon and Kate but just Kate & 8. I think we'll still hear feeble cries from Jon every now and then.

Jon will speak on Larry King- cause Ed Hardy isn't calling! But then again, Jon wants to put the brakes on the divorce.

J & K show sliding into hell-- hopefully

Apparently the show has lost over 62% of its viewership. We can only hope it slides farther.

Scans are up courtesy of My Case Against Kate Gosselin.

9/21 Farm to Table

So painful.

This is a complete commerical fest- we're back to the good ol' days of Jon and Kate.

Family game night, family game night commercial.
Fresh farm veggies, products to get kids to eat veggies.

Not to bore everyone with a blow-by-blow this week (ok- I admit it, I can't stand watching it all and agonizing over this ep) we have the highlights:

• Kate bought organic veggies from an Amish farmer and swore she shopped there a lot. Kate, who said 8 kids alone was a danger to them when they were young and Kate who couldn't get them in and out of the car without Jon... we're really to believe she spent a lot of time at the Amish store?
• Kate swore she was all about the environment- how many times have we seen her contradict that?
• Kate tried to be in touch with the Amish by not filming them- but ended up doing so anyway.
• The kids probably ruined a lot of watermelons the way they were screwing around with them.
• Kate seemed jealous that her Amish connection was about to catch up with her in the kid department.
• Apparently Kate (or her helpers) only know how to make eggplant parmigiana. The kids begged off- they had it three nights last week!
• Kate tries lame crap by saying Amish Henry is a good egg because she can be herself around him. If he had any sense, he'd tie her up and beat her like a horse.
• The kids argue about instruments and Kate does nothing.
• Kate only took her daughter to the doctor after Cara complained about a dozen times.
• While Kate pawns Cara off on the babysitter, Kate makes like its game night.
• Long story short, Cara is ok, just bruised.

Roundup of Kate's show panel?!?!

Kate's show seems to be a go.

Scans are up!

Courtesy of My Case Against Kate Gosselin.

More Drama and the Dogs are GONE

Stephanie Santoro, Whore #iforgetanddon'treallycare, is now claiming Jon seduced her. C'mon. What employer asks a NANNY for a massage. Nannies take care of kids, not the adults. Except in Stephanie's case! WOOOO WOOOOOO!

Seems the media frenzy is toning down for the Gs this week. Come on, PR machine!! You're sleeping on the job!!

And the dogs are gone. The kids get screwed again. Jon blames Kate for not taking care of them. See the video- unbelievable. Why couldn't the NANNY take care of them-- or hire someone else. Jon's trying to play the sympathy card. Doesn't work any better than Kate.

Sweet God, tell me this ain't so!

Supposedly Paula Deen the cooking with butter queen is hooking up with Kate (and read into that what you will) to create a talk show. Apparently Paula is rich enough she doesn't care about the possibility of peddling sandwiches again.

On a happier note, Jon's attorney dropped him. That's right. No word as to why, but honestly, Jon's a douchebag. Or maybe he was afraid Jon's estate wouldn't pay him if Jon carried out his suicide threats.

Horror of Horrors--- a Gosselin clothing line. Jon thinks Ed Hardy's folks used him to get publicity. Uh.hmmmmmmm.

9/14 Movie and a Catch

The intro has changed pictures but it is still "It may be a crazy life, but it's ARE life."

Kate explains for the umpteenth time that sometimes she's there and sometimes Jon is and there is no rhyme or reason for it. Uhhhhh, speaking events, parties?

Kate stills says she's taking on the world and fixing the world and getting the food in the house. Lonely at night in the house- where would the kids be Kate? Kate claims this is a true test of "survival and determination and perseverance". She wants to be in the pool with the kids but she has to cook. Who the hell is watching the kids then?

Mady and Kate in the kitchen. A recipe for disaster. She swears she doesn't know how to tell if chicken is done on the grill. I thought you'd never grilled before Kate?

If this is the best TLC can do showing Kate trying to do things ordinary people do every damn day, it's pathetic. Really, to tell the truth, it is pathetic anyway.

So they eat lunch, presumably without salmonella. They go on about blood in the chicken. They make such a big deal about it-- it is only where a vein was. Eat it, move it aside and get on with it.

Kate is doing a movie on the lawn. Of course with the sound man and proffi equipment it is not a problem to do so. I do have to say that the sound guy had a sexy pony tail. A little higher up and he'd be a samurai.....

Enough of the eye candy.... the way he smiled and laughed made me think he wanted to strangle the kids for pulling his hair and annoying him.

Kate said she 'got carried away as usual' and got a popcorn maker for the event. Seriously? Is this really necessary? Kate couldn't even work it- she's such a stupid cow. Trying for the sympathy vote ain't workin' Kate. You just come off as the incompetent whore you are.

She shrills, "Come and get your popcorn!!!!" while wearing some stupid hat and trying to make it seem like she's a popcorn vendor. It was scary.

Stupid Kate didn't think the kids would fall asleep or she's really playing for the cameras because she had to carry them into the house. Hello--- it would have been smart to get that CAMPING GEAR out and just sleep in the back yard. Idiot.

Then Kate whines about leaving "the kid's house". She doesn't know if the kids know she loves them and "you doubt yourself every day". Oh fuck off. Divorced peoples' children know their parents love them. Get over yourself.

So then it's time for party dad. Fishing in the creek. It is the neighbors but Jon can get to it through their land.....so it must be OK......

One kid is with Jon's mom shopping. Jon takes the kids back in the dirt. To piss Kate off I am sure. They are going through "mud and cow poop". Didn't know the Gs were into cows too--except Kate.

So the kids get shitty (haha) that they are getting dirty. One kid bawls and Jon calls him "wimpy" and declares that kids need to get out of the house and out of their comfort zones. Then the kids were hot, sweaty and wanted to go in the pool. Spoiled brats.

Jon wanted to go fishing, as he said and so they did. Again, selfish. No wonder the kids are the way they are. "you smell like manure and it is a pungent smell". So? And his fix was to hose everyone off at the house.

Then they made pizza. He wants them to keep it off the floor. What does it matter- the maid will come in and clean it out. They grilled the dough. then they loaded up the pizzas and regrilled them. Jon looks like he doesn't need any pizza. He's the original doughboy.

I find it interesting that the girl caught a fish and the bobber was green. When she reeled it in, it was pink. How set up was that?

When the kids talked about what they caught, the boys lied. and one had an issues because a one of the other kids bit him. WTF??

Jon is trying to spend all the time possible with him. It is nice to be in the county, he says. I am sure snorting coke with a whore is time consuming and exhausting......

Watching this shit was exhausting. I think I'll play Go Fish....

Scans are up!

Scans are up at My Case against Kate Gosselin.

Preview of tabs

http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/39008537.html#cutid1

Watch the GMA interview. Chris asked some really stupid questions.

The Slowing Flow

Jon and Kate are slowly slipping from our radars. It can't come soon enough.

Cheese round-up:

Jon's Mom slipped at his house.
Jon on GMA ragging on Kate.
Jon got a new car.
Jon was cancelled (so was Kate).

I guess Kate showed Jon the Money!

And the kids are beating the animals.....

Someone needs to step in. These kids are out of control. Although they're only acting out what the get from their parents, it's still no excuse for beating and terrorizing the dogs. See the video.

Scans are up at My case against Kate Gosselin.

Kate and Jon must not have publicists anymore

At Oh No they Didn't, seems Kate and Jon aren't on any covers this week- can't wait for the ratings!

Dr Cool Sex have a great new vid

Unlike this week's ep, this is great!

8/31 Dude Ranch and Dress Up

Kate and Jon decided to break out of their normal gender roles and have the parents switch roles for the weekend (or whatever it was).

Kate is taking the boys to a dude ranch in Wyoming. The year goal for Kate was to take each child or a few on a trip. Ok..... I thought you did that last year.

The hope, she said, was that she'd be p-people free.

Kate shows up in her dangly ear rings, designer black jeans and tank- complete with hooker heels. WTF???

When the kids ask what kind of farming/ranching they do and they had to ask twice, Kate interjected with a "MOOOOOO". Kind of fitting, eh?

Meanwhile, Jon was at "their ranch" with the girls. (I thought it was the kids' ranch.) They did a scavenger hunt and Leah was pissy because she had to hold everything. Winners got to choose dessert. No drama there.

Kate (still in hooker heels) and the boys were off on four-wheelers- cause Kate "feels the need for speed". Top Gun, she ain't! And I found it more than a little upsetting that they were driving very quickly without protection. Kate though, seemed only interested in saying she'd like to race. Next "business" venture? Sleeping with the pitcrew?

She's tamed her hair somewhat.... still looks like shit.

Then it was off to the horses. Kate is now in jeans, a pink shirt and a pink hat-- with pink boots. What a pink cunt she was! the bose were in boots, jeans and matching shirts/hats. Poor kids. they looked a little too matchy matchy. Kate let everyone know she didn't like rules (although she likes making them!) and thought she was witty when she interjected with some "humor".

Kate gets up on a horse and so do the boys. On the confessional for the boys they had fun because the girls weren't there. The horses, according to the boys, pee and poop in their pants. Perhaps one of the kids rode a horse named Feces.

Back with Jon, they were staying with Jon a sitter. They went to the dentist. No screamin and issues. Apparently the kids have a lot of cavities. So much for the ORGANIC diet. Two for Leah and one for Alexis. That is an awful lot. (BTW, I think this was officially the 6th ep on teeth and the 5th for the kids alone)

Switching back to the boys, they were still riding. The boys taunted each other as they were on the horse. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. One of the kids says they can do what they want because Mommy is gone. While Kate finds an opportunity to get away from the kids and go out on her horse.

So Kate and her new "can do" attitude goes off in the mountains with one of the men-folk. Probably blowing him at Hidden Rock Cave. Then she admits the trip was to see if SHE could do it. Right. All for the kids, Kate. All.for.the.kids. She said she could cry, but didn't. Later they go on a walk with mom.

Meanwhile, Jon plays more games with the kids, including can and string telephone.

Then Kate sends the kids to "hang out" at the ranch and play in chicken shit while she learns to shoot a gun. But again, with her "can do" attitude, she's learning new things. This whole angle is not working, Kate. Then they did an egg and spoon race on horses. Whoop Whoop. Kate got shitty about ringing the dinner bell. Dumb bitch. Her kids chase a goat and molest kittens. What a way to parent.

Jon and the kids did a concert and played dress up. And so did Jon, which I have to admit was cool if it was sincere.

He mentioned the "custody schedule". LOL

Kate dressed up in an ugly brown tank, her pink hat and slutty cowboy boots. Kate gave the kids chicken feet to eat- I am sure they were ORGANIC. She was surprized they ate them. Collin licked the toenails. Yuck!

Overall, this was a -57 on the snoozer scale. It was very painful to write this recap.