Poor Jon and Kate. They can't pay their water bill- or their mortgages, it seems- and a lien has been put on one of their properties. I really thought the houses were for the kids because as Kate was fond of saying "it is all for them" and "they deserve it." Whatever.
Scans from My Case against Kate Gosselin
We open on the show with Jon's obnoxious sign stating the kids can't be filmed. Kate says it is bittersweet to say goodbye and that the "kids are already missing it". Really? I wonder if they have a case of PTSD going on.
Kate cries about the "last time" on the "set". So there you have it. It was WORK. She didn't say "home". She said "set". It is "needless" and "useless" to end the series. Kate was able to see the good and that this job had a huge plus because the kids got to see everything and Kate could work from home and be with the kids. Yeah, how often did they go to the spa and book signings with you?
Jon was self-absorbed as normal. He self-discovered during the show. While he talks, we see the small advert for Cake Boss on next Monday in their time slot. Jon looks slovenly and dirty.
Kate seems to feel she is in the same boat as Jon but not really. She looks like a contained slut in her Loft apparel. She is going to do everything she can to see that the kids prosper. Well, do you think you could give them some of the money they earned.
Jon is happy living in NY. He is happy to "have work again". WTF?
Kate says the kids are asking parents. They need to see "a hard working parent". Who is that? Kate said they don't know about girlfriends? WTF? Sure they do. They can google. They hear the news and their mom on the phone and hasn't Jon talked to them about it. Sure he has.
Kate goes on and on about her friends and how supportive they are. Who cares?
She rags on Jon for not taking them places. They stay at home. WTF again? Who cares....They actually show the twins acting out.... what kind of responsible journalism is that? Jon gets super bitchy with the kids. He threatens to throw a poster in the trash. Then Hannah starts kissing his ass. Then we get to see Jon making lemonade. He touches them with his hands. I know where those hands have been. I would not drink the lemonade. I love the kids being honest about who made the signs.
Then he thinks he is a big draw by pouring lemonade. And he gets a small jar of money. To match his genitals. (Did I say that outloud?)
Jon whines about the paps. Kate whines about the paps. Kate whines about Jon's intentions and motives (publicity stunt?) for the fire department. She doesn't like them to be used for stunts. WTF has the last few years been for you Kate? Bitch.
Back at the fire station, the kids begged for a ride-not one bit spoiled are they?
(fast forward to save myself from boredom)
Jon thinks he's going to save the world with his lemonade stand. Kate's goal is to remain neutral and state the facts. Sure. You'll never smear Jon in the media or discourage him from being with them.
She says that the show gave them opportuntities to travel that they won't have now. But Kate will, won't she. As far away as she can get from the kids.
Kate walks with the kids down a country road )not wearing slut shoes for once. It was pathetic when they showed the nanny with a blurred out face. It was an ORGANIC farm full of cows!
Kate reads her lines like a pro. It's all ending too soon, the kids will never be able to do these things again. "It's been taken from me and he kids." Notice the placement of "me". She never wanted the divorce, she wanted roles to change and wanted him to basically take over so she could sit on her over-pampered ass and let him do it all.
Jon swears he'll take initiative. BWHAHAHAHA.
Kate whines on....."It's been a great run. Grateful for the opportunity. Memories on tape. thankful for support. From people who brought them into their living rooms. " Obviously missing the stardom versus her marriage.
And the inevitable montage. "It's your life, whatcha gonna do...."
The ending picture is the 5th birthday family pic with the caption, "Jon & Kate and family, thank you for sharing your lives with us" or some such crap.
Boo hoo, Jon and Kate.
you'll have to get jobs,
this cannot wait.
Hither and thither
round and round
maybe now you'll stop flying
and come back to the ground
Your kids are a mess
and so are your lives
don't think about husbands
or even wives
Get your shit straightened out
Get your kids under control
only then can you
make your lives whole.
Now that you're all ready to puke-- let's just say it:
Jon and Kate- see ya! Don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out!