Monday, April 20, 2009

The Gosselins Go Green Recap

The episode starts with “Go Green” chanted several times. Enter Steve Thomas. As some of you may remember, he was Bob Vila’s replacement on This Old House and came from a sailing background. Now he hosts some other show and is supposedly very green.

Kate exclaims that she is happy to let the “sun and the natural elements” do the work for her but it really comes down to cutting costs for her. Way to support the green movement, Kate!
We cut to a shot of Jon-Boy outside talking about Steve and his crew at Jon’s “crib”. Tsk, tsk, Jon. You’re letting your 20 somethings vocabulary taint your good name.

Steve Thomas prepares to educate us on solar panel installation and it quickly turns into a renovation “how to” show. Kate whines that she is still having issues with people in the house. She doesn’t like not knowing where everyone is and where they would be. She was given a plan of the comings and goings to help her poor stupid soul out.

As they prepare to begin installation, Steve asks, “Is everyone ready” and Jon answers, “What choice do I have”. One of the kids yells, “Daddy where are you” and I am sure Jon was wishing he was playing beer pong with his sorority sisters.

Imagine that! The panels are late and Steve runs the renovation show’s playbook play by play. Jon was upset that their schedule would be upset and Steve asked if Kate would beat him up. Jon elected not to tell Kate. Or at least suggested it. To actually do it would be too ballsy for Jon.
Kate tells one of her infamous lies as she said she spent the afternoon baking for the crew. We know from past episodes that she doesn’t bake- she isn’t good at it- so I assume nanny-no-show is the one who did the baking- or the local Meijer.

The children are in fine form—telling each other that they will tell on the other if they rat them out about going past the cones they weren’t supposed to pass.

Steve kills time by quizzing the kids and invading Kate’s space. Good for him. Jon thought the “proton neutron thing” was funny. Probably he did. Poor dumb animal.

Awwww and we see Kate bring out “home made” goodies for the crew. She was grateful for their work (because it was free). Kate thinks all cold men should be fed. LMAO

We start to see the kids in the back 40 in this episode. You see just how.much.land. the ‘tups and twins earned on the show. More installation….. Jon stands around gratuitously. Steve and Kate compare how they grew up together. Apparently “dishevelment” isn’t a word, according to Kate and we get some insight into her father—he doesn’t finish projects. Kate reinforces stereotypes by saying the four-wheeler and other assorted machines are “boy toys” all the while wearing a sour expression on her face that screamed “hurry up and get the fuck off MY land!”

Notice in this episode that they don’t show as many full shots of the two of them on the couch. As Jon points out that they are saving their kids future, Kate grinches her face and says “the Earth is only going to last so long anyway, but, well”. Wow, again with the rich reinforcement of the Earth and how important it is…… and then she has the nerve to make fun of Steve and how excited he is about his projects. What an ungrateful cunt.

Again with the Valentine’s Day celebration- grilled cheese made it soooo special. So special the day was that Kate couldn’t remember half the memories she made for them. My question--- was it all organic?

Then we’re off with Steve and Kate. He ties her up and throws her in the basement--- no. Wait. He just takes her up in a cherry picker. Don’t let Kate’s surly attitude fool you. She loved the “900 guys” hanging around “laughing at” her. She loved it. But what she loved more was the whore, er, whole savings bit. Not a word about Mother Earth from Queen Bee.

Back to a renovation show atmosphere. Then on to the ‘tups nosing around where they shouldn’t be. When asked by a crew member if Kate should have the final say so on the placement of some of the panels, Jon snidely remarks “No.” but then calls Kate. Like we didn’t know he was going to do that. Kate comes home and we hear her doing some shopping on the phone. Or else she’s finding out how much she’ll get paid to shill her crappy book. (Not books. She didn’t write the first one.) And after more wasted air time, Jon gets into a harness and informs us he shouldn’t have worn boxers. Uh… yuck!

The second day oatmeal raisin cookies were on the menu- ‘cause as Kate says, she wants to do “healthy things” for her kids. (Kate, have you really baked oatmeal raisin cookies before?) Jon talks about the reclaimed wood and let us all know that most of the barns in PA are made of wood. Wow. Who would have thought? Kate interrupted Jon and said she wishes they would have made two picnic tables. Katie, your greed is showing.

Finally they put in LED lights and when Jon talked about the kids enjoying putting the landscape lights out, Kate had to be the center of attention and ask “Was I baking during that time?”. Yeah, Kate, you were “baking” (i.e. driving to Meijer to get more snacks with your body guard). Then she bitches because the kids put the lights together and they seem to be falling apart. Get off your lazy ass, Kate and fix them. Talk about a lazy cow. “So glad it’s done.” And her fake thank you to Steve. As soon as the show was over, Kate disappeared back inside the house.

So glad you’re done, Kate. You suck.

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

Amen! You summed it up nicely.
I have an issue that the savings were added up but oddly neglected to deduct the actual cost of the equipment and installation, making this sort of project unaccessable to the general public.
The only note of appreciation I heard on this episode was from the workmen when they were given their morsels of "homemade" baked goods.

I could have strangled her when she muttered she could use 2 picnic tables. How rude yet you know she'll get one.

Anonymous said...

Did anyone notice that during the Valentine "special" lunch, there were cards on the tables to each individual kid? NONE of them said Love Dad and Mommy. ALL of them said love Mommy.Wow, thought that was rude.

Anonymous said...

I couldn't agree more! I watched that episode just to see how "green" they were going. Kate has the surliest, angriest attitude I've ever seen. She needs major therapy and that probably wouldn't touch the deep dysfunctional shit she seems to enjoy spewing on everyone. "Green" is the last thing she gives a shit about...she looks and acts like she hates the whole world, especially hers. 8 special kids are going to fucking hate her guts one day...but hey, at list she'll have some movies.

Anonymous said...

Great episode summary. However, I'm surprised you didn't make more of Kate's reaction to Jon's description of the picnic table. As you may recall, when describing the table he 'built' (a teenager could have screwed the pieces together), Jon says something to the effect of "It's not just an ordinary picnic table . . . It's a 'Bart Wagner'." Kate immediately begins nodding her head with a "Our Bart Wagner picnic table is WAY better than any table you might have (or could ever get)" look on her face. Memo to Kate: NO ONE cares about your designed picnic table.

I couldn't believe how rude Kate was when she wouldn't get off of her phone when asked about the location of the solar tubes. Outrageous.

By the way, if Kate is so wild about getting things free from the sun (or anywhere else for that matter), why does it look like she spends a fortune at the spray-on tan studio?

Finally, I loved the dialogue about the tax credits for solar power. I wish the IRS would audit them. Think they're declaring all of that 'cash only' income from their photo ops and book signings? Seeing Kate in front of an IRS agent - THAT is an episode I'd tune in for.

Anonymous said...

Excellent re-cap. Spot on summation of what an ignorant and ungratful bitch she is. I'm so looking forwar to the thime her subD-List celebrity wears off and she finds herself alone.

We all know the kids are going to kick her in the teeth for putting them through this,and once the gig is up and Jon has some money secured in his piggy bank he's going to go find his 19 year old.

gwop2009 said...

Anon 8:37- you know it was all about Mommy making it special. Daddy doesn't want to and he's baaad.

Anon 2:59- I have to admit, by the time I got to the picnic table, I was so shocked that she actually allowed her shittiness to be recorded, I left that morsel out.

Anon 5:01-TY and I totally agree!

Confan said...

I'd say you got this episode down pat! Thanks for the good read. I read something last night that made me ill. My daughter brought home the new "Life & Style" magazine dated April 27th. There is an article called "Jon & Kate Plus 9?!". "As they approach their 10th anniversary, Jon & Kate consider adding to their already huge family." Article follows and there is a full page pic from the Hawaiian wedding. This person thinks they are adopting from Hawaii. Will they never stop!

Anonymous said...

Good eye 8:37
If I could stomach watching again I'd like to witness those from Mommy only Valentine cards myself. You are right How rude. If I remember correctly valentine's was wwhen the whole Co-ed photo scandal happened.

gwop2009 said...

Confan- I ahve not seen that edition yet. I can't even imagine them adopting another kid. But then again, they've said they have no interest in it (or at least Jon has). Can you imagine?!

LJ said...

I am sure Jon was wishing he was playing beer pong with his sorority sisters.

Single funniest line in a recap ever.

Kimberly said...

Did anyone notice Kate drinking bottled water during this "Green" episode?

hateskatetimes8 said...

I agree with anonymous - if I could stomach watching this again...

The last episode I saw was Lego Land when Maddie was throwing a fit getting off those cut little lego boats, and I only paid attention to bits and pieces.

When is this show going to end? We should have a party when it does!

And, yet, I'd love to see the kids have their own show when their 20 and 18. It would be interesting to see if any of them still "thank" their mommy for all she's given them and done for them.

Anonymous said...

Not only was she drinking bottled water, she served the workers their homebaked goodies on styrofoam plates and served their coffee in styrofoam cups!!! Helllooo Kate...not so green for a green episode!

gwop2009 said...

It's so obvious that the production company is just trying to rape the public as much as Kate and Jon rape the kids' childhoods. A green episode and such waste and non-green attitude. Dumbasses.

Anonymous said...

best recap ever!

Anonymous said...

This page is SAD! People who have nothing better to do in their life than to talk about people they dont even know....
GOD, ALL OF YOU NEED HELP!
PS. Im sure this will never be posted. Because Im sure the person who runs this is pathetic enough not to allow FREE SPEECH!
You are a sick Person

I DARE YOU TO POST THIS!!!! HA LOL AT YOU

gwop2009 said...

Anon 2:34pm: Happy now. You've got nothing better than to talk about people you don't know so I guess that makes all of us, including YOU, sick people by your definition. You sound about as smart as Jon Gosselin!