Thursday, June 11, 2009

I have to watch the AC episode...

On the Chopper show, we got to see the automatic gate open at the Gosselin residence in the first shots.

Scene: Kate is in her Queen of Kmart White Chair. The guys are going to do “R & D, check the kids out and figure out what bike Jon wants”. First words out of Kate: calls Mikey “hairy”. Jon is stylin’ his plugs by spiking them and sporting shades and has a GAP Athletic half wife beater that is wrinkled to hell. Kate is in a wrinkled shirt that shows off her new store bought tits. Kate actually thought one of their bikes was going to be named after her. She wants a hot pink bike named after her. Douche bag. The AC Sr Dude doesn’t seem impressed with Kate, but he was very nice to the kids. Leah got to go first. I was surprised Hannie didn’t shove her out of the way.

I love that this is not all about Kate- and it obviously pisses her off.

Mikey decides (according to the script) to help with the kids, because Kate just couldn’t handle it alone. Jon and the guys sit in the classy plastic chairs… and they all spread out like they are exhibiting some sort of giant plumb between their legs……. And Jon is practically fondling where his balls would be if he had any.

Back with Kate, there is a chick that comes out of the house with her face blurred out as Kate tells the kids that Mikey wants to entertain them. Kate says to “eat your lunchy”. Carrots, apples and crackers. No protein. And people are going to by a cookbook from her? Mikey bombs with the ventriloquist act. He sucks at it. And Kate generously wipes the sweat off him.

Back to Jon, he wants a rec/chopper bike with some crap I could care less about. According to Paul Sr, Jon wants everything “top of the line” (to go with his $40K car).

Mikey is screaming with the dummy and pissing Kate off. The kids were enjoying it but of course the kids don’t get what they like…..

Back to Jon—ping pong…. Jon’s going to do “weekend riding, night riding when I have time”

Yeah. When you go whoring you mean.

Back to Kate. The kids almost wreck the dummy and they have an ass fetish. Nice. Mikey called the kids ‘ravenous wolves”.

Back to Jon- he wants “Clean and simple” on the bike. Yawn.

Then we see before commercial- three large asses walking away from the cam.

Kate said she wanted to go for a ride. Paul Sr. was surprised. She said she wouldn’t wear jeans and he said “I don’t care what you wear” LMFAO Paul needed help and yelled at Jon to help them. I get the feeling Paul didn’t really wanna be there. LMAO Jon stood around not helping and Mikey burn his finger. Kate said so pleasantly that she would give him some aloe plant. She tried to seem nurturing.

Kate doesn’t like to talk about things, she likes to do them. Paul Sr. said he did too- actually he cut her off. I love you Paul Sr. Kate called him sweaty as she drove off on the bike with him. Another AC guy was beside them and Jon straggled in the back. Where was Steve?!

We got some good shots of their property. Nice driveway lights all the way down to the gate. Trees along the paved driveway…..Mikey showed his burn to the kids. Paul said you have to drink lots of water when it’s hot. Remember that Kate. The kids actually took his water, because they never get enough from Kate. Then they headed back to the garage.

At the garage, they bullshit and say JK8 is a good show and that Kate wears the pants. They start on the bike. There is a lot of crap here that I could care less about so we’ll skip that shit.
Mikey goes back to the Konpound. Kate has on one of three Ann Taylor Loft dresses she owns. Kate’s yukin’ it up with the guys. Then they are doing a craft project with the kids (this episode makes no sense and must be to boost sagging ratings).

Kate says donning a hot pink wig “Since my hair is the talk of the town, let’s make it worse.” It’s all about you Kate. Dumb bitch. So they made their projects from foam crap. Kate’s had to be the best. So of course Aiden, seeking the approval of his mom, added his project to hers.
Jon came in and yelled at the kids to clean up the yard. The big yard. Then we saw their play house. One of them. Kate brings out lunch under a tent. And yells for Jon to get the “nasty” beasts away. She says if he lets him go during lunch he’s in trouble. Jon told the dog he’d get a spanking. He loved it.

Kate said the kids were graduating from pre-school. Jr Kindergarten next year 7:15-3:40 3 days a week. Kate was thrilled they would be gone all day. If that’s Jr. Kindergarten….. Kate slapped a kids hand away from the food. They were having bananas, crackers and cheese and Capri suns.

So they ate…..then she took the obligatory picture of everyone and said as she took a picture with her pink blackberry… “Smile if you love mommy. Who loves mommy?” I didn’t see many smiles.

Jon gets out four wheelers…. There are at least 3 of them. More of the tup’s money down the drain. They go into Jon’s upper garage and decide to use an extension cord to pull brush out of the way. Dumbasses. Jon struggles because of his beer belly. Then we see all of them do incredibly stupid (dare I say, typical man) things. Moving on….Then they go back to building the bike…..moving on…

Finally Jon goes in to the OCC…. He’s going to work on his bike. Right. He said the “black widow” bike was Kate’s. LMAO. He told us how busy his morning was. And that today is a break and tomorrow, “he’s a dad again”. I wonder if his whore Deanna went with him?

By the way, Jon has a HUGE bald spot. They asked if Kate was ok with it. Jon said, Yes, what’s mine is mine what’s hers is hers. “ He finally admits he’s a stay at home dad. So what the fuck is his problem. Then they show him paint. And talks about stuff I don’t care about. Except he wants a kids face or their initialed on the bike. Because he wants a “tribute” to them because without them “I wouldn’t be standing here” Someone asked him what he was doing and he said “taking care of my kids”. The light also showed Jon’s grey hairs and his bad gel job. They went riding. Then they showed him with his hair better, in shades and a black leather jacket. If I saw him on the street, I would say he’s hot---- if I didn’t already know what an asshole he is. They decided to go to a virtual gun range. Jon said he’s into shooting stuff. A premonition of things to come with Kate?

Jon said he likes hanging out with them because he has few male friends “as we all know”. They are asking about how many kids he has--- when they’ve supposedly already been there. And then the obligatory questions about how it happened. The next day, Jon is supposed to help with his bike. Mikey goes into Jon’s room and he either had a skippy phone or a video game. I say an IPhone or Blackberry. Blue. He said Mikey could be his bodyguard as they walked over to the shop. So then they work on the bike.

Back with Kate, Mikey thinks Kate has too much on her plate and takes her for a spa day. Fuck that. She does that anyway. Mikey—wake up and smell the coffee. She called Mikey “the best date ever”. Mikey is going to get a makeover….. She thought he needed one. Kate—take your own advice. Kate had on her 4 inch hooker heels ready to straddle Mikey or any other man. So he didn’t get his hair cut and he got his beard trimmed and he got a pedicure. Kate said she had some of the polish colors “a million time” So you’ve run through a lot of the ‘tups money then, huh? They asked Mikey if he wanted a magazine and he asked for an “Us Weekly”. Kate laughed. Then they had the whole how did the pregnancy happen talk with her. Kate says she’s been stressed lately and hasn’t been able to do these types of things. What a LIAR. You did on MOTHER’S DAY. The ‘tup’s birthday. Such a liar.

So it is time for the unveil of Jon and Kate’s bikes. That is way too much bike for Jon and a wimpy scooter for Kate. You would think Jon and Kate would go biking together on his or both….. not going to happen. Jon’s bike was nice… and “in tune to exactly what I want” The kids names were on a yellow ribbon paint piece on the bike. Kate got shitty about the horn and threatened with naps for all. They talked about Jon’s bike but I don’t care about that. He looks like a douchebag on or off it. Someone asked if Kate was going to let Jon out as he went down the drive and she said “Let him GO” and “Don’t expect me to ride… I don’t know… I have 8 kids to care for I can’t be out of commission” She ran with her hooker heals down the drive ask Sr. Dude rode her bike. Then Kate tried out the bike in heels. She went up and down the driveway getting her attention and that was pretty much it.

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