2/9 Walk in the Woods (aka Pissy and Whiney)

The intro gives us so many delights to choose from. First, Jon got pissy with the kids because as the adult he trusted them with huge, pointy sticks that the kids promptly started using on each other. Or should we be ecstatic for Jon because he has a tractor?

Of course the intro still features their old home—to makes us feel like they are a family…
What strikes me as the show starts is that it is obvious that the twins won’t be around (where they are we don’t know- probably at a “friend’s house”, opting out of this particular show). I can also tell that there will be seven children on the loose without Kate around (she was in NY)- Jon and the ‘tups. All of them are running around the house in socked feet on wood floors. So very smart.

Ever the paragon of intellect, Jon explains that he is going to take the kids out to the woods for the second time. The first time was “exploration and clearing”. This time it is purely a hike to look at “plant species”. Kate rags on Jon for saying “plant species”, staying curled up the whole half hour on the couch looking ill. We spend a good two minutes trying to find coats. There is still a serious downplaying of the home's size and spaciousness…. My question is if they’ve been in the woods before--- then how come he couldn’t find the coats? Does that mean they ran around in the cold without or have they been there much longer? I smell a setup.

The other kids run around and “test boundaries”… Kids play unattended on the computer in kitchen. One melts down b/c she can’t play on computer… poor little rich girl. On the confessional couch, Jon was supposed to have the kids and do the talking. Jon got pissed when Kate tried to steal his spotlight. She yelled at him and looked miserable- like she’d been puking her guts up.

Kate and Jon kept snipping about leaving kids alone in house… “too much ground to cover “ in this house versus the other” where you could run out and just grab something and come back”. It became quite obvious no one but Jon wanted to go on the jaunt he had planned.

Here come the sharp, jagged objects. Jon justifies the sticks because he “hacked” things down with it when they went out the first time. Kate didn’t notice the special sticks in the garage because she doesn’t go out. (So much for “Mine, all mine!”)

They wanted to look at their “stray” cat, which was smart enough to run like hell when it saw them coming around. They finally made it to the woods--- and the kids got nasty about being outside. Kate comments in her special pissy way, “We have the area now; they need to be out there.”

As the kids become increasingly upset at the hike and fall down, Jon yells “Walk like a man!” to the boys because they didn’t want to walk. Jon ignores Joel’s crying. One of the kids falls and cries and keeps going. “You just missed a deer because you’re crying like a baby,” pouts Jon. He’s pointing out deer and the kids are crying and he makes them sit and be quiet so he can take a picture. “You can’t even sit on a log without crying about it. I’ll never find the deer.” Way to act like a man, Jon.

The kids beat each other with sticks….. Jon told Alexis to stop poking her brother, but she didn’t. Jon grabbed the stick, brandished it for a moment and then broke the stick in two pieces much to a horrified Alexis’ surprise. Ever fixated on the deer (or maybe his own comfort), Jon suggests getting out his new toy and riding around looking for the deer. We’re able to see a great big view of how big the house is.

We see Jon taking the sticks from everyone as they pass through the fence. Collin screams in frustration when Jon continues holding a stick and doesn’t share. Such psychological terror!
After the break we see Jon’s new tractor is a small John Deere tractor with a bulldozer attachment!

For them to be able to live in this environment is “a bigger dream than we could imagine and they deserve it- I am happy to watch them and let them be kids.” – say the Gosselins together.

We get to see one more toy- walkie talkies—the house is SO big, they must have them. Jon makes lunch- PBJ (Kate’s special recipe) and grapes. The kids were about to fall asleep at the table. He even gave some sort of dessert.

Kate gets a beautiful view. Kate is surprised she lives there still. She claims as she looks hacked on, anorexic and unhappy that there is not so much stress in her house (maybe because she is gone so much?!), but she is still a bitch to Jon. And he loves it.